And the rest is history...

Very very warm and sunny greetings from a not very warm and sunny place. And in advance for those who take an interest in my blogging and my journey, thanks very much for joining in!

So here is me, past one in the morning, and I've taken the plunge to a world of blogging... another lighthearted pastime while I feel a tidgey bit as if my life is on hold. No screw it... my life is officially on hold in almost all respects.

Oh woe woe I hear you say... but wait - I don't mean it like that! Because with all the dramatically enriched and self involed drivvle I can possibly keep back, I'm happy to have a life to put on hold.
Backtrack to November 6th of last year where I packed my rucksack with not enough things and headed over to my CF team with a stinker of a chest infection /asthma flare up...

In I went for 2 weeks IV antibiotics ect to get rid of my 'bugs' (pseudomonas and MRSA for anyone who might wonder - very boring and same-ey CF bacteria). And on the treatment went, when after two weeks of very good treatment and improved breathing I developed 'mystery' high fevers and unexplained tiredness and weightloss.
Ho hum, thought I who, whilst slightly confused and annoyed at the imminant prolonged stay, could only see this as a blip and was pretty happy to have got my lung functions back up a bit.
As more and more things got ruled out and I had more and more tests done to get to the root of my fevers, I became rather short of breath and my gunky cough came back with avengance. Somehow although my lung functions hadn't dropped much at all at this point, I was quite worryingly hypoxic at the slightest exertion and getting more breathless by the day. A repeat chest x-ray was shocking to say the least and I appeared to have developed severe pneumonia. Which would have made sense except my bugs had settled and I had already had over two weeks of numerous antibiotics.

A CT scan was as scarey as the x-ray and after two bronchoscopys with a biopsy, I was found to have developed cryptogenic organising pneumonia, or COP. Or also called Bronchiolitis Obliterans Organising pneumonia (BOOP). I prefer the former, which is shorter, easier, and also doesn't put a lighthearted spin on a pretty evil illness. I refuse to associate cute sexy cartoon characters with extensive and life threatening lung inflammation.. but that's me and my ways.

Anyway what I'm saying is that I got really more ill than I've ever been in my entire life, had at least four instances in which I wasn't sure if I'd be around in 3 minutes let alone 3 months, and after a lengthy hospital stay and some very difficult early stages of recovery I'm still in one piece. And contemplating ways in which to get the old me back in action. Enough medical bits for now... on to some sporty stuff.
Before these past few months I was a rather keen runner and ahem... gym bunny. My fitness and ability to get out and have a whole part of my life dedicated to running was paramount to me and always will be although my priorities have changed for the time being.
I ran for my county several times in national championships, ran 10ks, 5ks, road relays, cross country, track and anywhere I could really! I would run to wake up, run to wind down, to calm my nerves for exams, to console myself after said exams, to socialise, to prove myself, and to just... run. What I love about it is that almost anyone can run, and almost everyone has different reasons for doing it. It's such a personal thing, or not if you don't want it to be, you can achieve for others, although one would hope that you end up doing it just for you.
All you need is a decent pair of shoes and you. Well in reality if this were true I would not have aquired some truly magical items which I blame running for costing me. And my boobs would be like golfballs in a pair of tights. But you don't need much is all I'm saying.

At my fittest, before a somewhat unfortunate entire year with my health, I ran a 10k in just over 40 minutes. And for me this was great, but onwards I was striving for a sub 40, and then a sub 38. Ahh, much plannage, but not much do-age... you might be thinking. But having just upped my mileage to around 40 miles a week, loads of cross training, and added circuits and weights, this was definately becoming possible.
I won't divulge in to the following few months for now but all you need to know is that this level of fitness declined for a fair spell and having fluctuated over the year, was beginning to make real progress until november.

I've heard that many things will change your priorities in regards to your goals, desires, needs, and even principles, but never truly understood how that would feel. To have a bodily function such as breathing stripped from you is a formidable experience that I wouldn't wish on anyone and I hope that no-one reading this ever really knows the feeling.
Where do I stand now with my 'fitness'? Fitness is a funny word and the meaning's changed for me almost overnight.
Before, fitness almost transpired to invincability - strength, speed, constant improvement and constant progress, never missing a work out, and never blaming anything other than myself for lack of this. It would never have meant being able to go up a flight of stairs without needing a break or a 5 minutes to catch my breath afterwards. And not needing oxygen blasting away up my nose to function. Which is why I can't bring myself to say with seriousness how fit I am. I'm now fit enough to be out of hospital and fit enough to do a bit of socialising and some quiet study (I deffered my university year). I'm fit enough to stay awake all day and to travel to my hospital appointments alone, and all this to us is remarkable progress in a couple of months.

Thankful and sentimental as I am to be 'getting there', I can't help getting some comfort in numbers and figures instead of just relying on how I feel. I currently walk at a decent (that's not brisk, it's just fast enough to appear normal and not like a human snail) pace for 30-40 minutes a day. NO oxygen... athanku avery much.
Brill, very good, but I want to run again. Like, I really want to run. Not possible for more than 30 seconds at the moment or I would do myself damage, but becoming a realiy for some future point. I can't put any sensible time frame on this because I can't even talk whilst I walk for now, but I remind myself how far I've come in the past month even, and it just seems that bit more real now that this time next year, I'll be able to not think about going upstairs without upsetting my breathing, I'll be able to laugh and chat when I walk with other people, and just maybe, I might be entering a race or two.
I'll be entering just because I can. No watch poised at the start, no eighteen nervous wee stops because 10 seconds difference over my 5k would be tragic, and no taking it for granted that I'm there and I'm doing it.

For now, that's enough info I think (!) and from now, I hope that this blog gives some light relief from those post - less than inspired training run moments - remember how far you've come! I hope it provides interest from a sciencey point of view and anyone wanting to learn about life with an illness, and most importantly to me, I hope there might be someone who can take comfort in my ramblings, if they are in some similar situation. I'd like to think that I can learn from this blog that almost anything is possible and that almost nothing is so important and serious that you can't enjoy it.

Here's to the start of a MISSION... An important, serious and enjoyable mission.